On letting go and moving on..

On letting go and moving on..

“ it may not completely take the pain that you are having since you’re letting go of big part of your life that you know only that person can fill in, , but at least it will help you regain yourself”


I am a bit sleepless for almost four weeks and it is not healthy. I’m just awake, staring agape, twisting and turning to find the most comfortable position I can ever have. I had a warm glass of milk for relaxation before it could lead to sleeping pills.

Yet, it is not always like that. After having the most comfortable position and drank the warmest milk, tomorrow will be the same again. Another sleepless night, twist and turns and maybe a new option to let myself sleep.

So, I just embraced that night of uncertainty..awake alert and oriented..

I came across a radio station that has a tag line “kailangan pa bang imemorize yan, bisyo na ‘to” (I’m talking about 90.7 love radio) when I was looking for a radio station playing mellow or love songs that will help me drown myself to sleep. They have a regular program from 10pm to 2am that has a segment title “true love confessions” and wild confessions”.

I listened to the former and that was the reason for my blog.

A 21 year old caller who worked as a pharmacist for a known personal and beauty store called in to confess her love story with her ex boyfriend. They have been together for four years and it goes to an end when another woman came in the story. They broke up for almost five months now and sad to share they ended up uncertainly. They have not talked personally, they just texted each other and said their goodbyes.

Tears rolled down my cheeks while the DJ is trying to console her. She asked for an advice on how to move on and she’s crying the whole airtime allotted for her. The DJ has become more persistent to let her cry, and let her emotions burst out since it was evident that she’s keeping the pain. She loved the person but the guy is happy with some one else’s arms. Ouchie.

I know this is unsolicited but then I just want to share my ideals on how to move on, or at least ease the pain that she is having right now. Four years of being together is no big joke and the best words to describe breakup is ‘pain’ and ‘suffering’. Especially when you are to pass by to every street you used to walk with that person, when you will see that fish ball or ‘kwek kwek’ vendor you use to eat in, when you see lovers holding each other’s hand and cuddling each other, when you ride to the front seat of the jeepney and you are alone, when you go to an amusement park and you have no one to embrace to, etcetera.. etcetera.. Every sunrise that brings another day that you wish did not come will burn you to you endodermis. It’s really hard to wake up and face another day or the people around you ‘cause they will always remind you that once in their lives they have been too with the person you love. You see him to them.

What pains most is that you always think of that person and you wish upon a star that he thinks of you too. Surely he remembers you, but not the way that you do to him. In order to lessen the pain, you have to accept the fact that you lost the battle and you are beaten. That will be the best counter flow. Do not limit yourself to tell him how hurt and bad you are right now, and that you want him back to your life, or at least have some time with him. You will not be forever hurt. And there will always be rainbow after every rain. In God’s will

Give yourself a chance to thank him for all the things that you have shared and say sorry for the things that you have done to hurt him. It may not completely take the pain that you are having, since you’re letting go of big part of your life that you know only that person can fill in, but at least it will help you regain yourself. Face it everyday and accept every pain, cry every tear, until you see yourself one day that there is no more pain in your heart and no more tears..

Loving is being selfless. You have to lessen the grip, until you can finally let go and regain your strength. Life is a long journey and I am sure that better things are on the way. Hope this helps for those who are also in pain.

Loving is letting go without losing yourself.


12.05.09